the worst part is probably imagining how the others are doing- the ones that were closest to you. 


heart hurts 

life sucks sometimes

today was such a strange.. weird mix of things 

hc court assembly was today-  having to be in the asb room brought back so many memories that i had with you. god that sucked so much. 

when hildreth told me before I started to walk, “smile, she would have wanted that” i wanted to cry so much.. 

no one at school besides about 10 of us knew you.. 

mrs park was probably the most insensitive person today. she started going on about safety and how she never lets her son out because of things like this, not knowing me and jj both knew her personally.. my blood really started boiling. i really wanted to tell her to shut up. but i get it. she didnt know. 

hetman and i both were in during 0 period and just cried together. 

this sucks 

so much

i wish i could have seen you atleast one more time.. eaten bc or gone snowboarding.. its been over a year im pretty sure. 

miss you, asb mom. your smile was amazing. i tried my hardest to smile as big as i could, thinking of you the whole time. :)

i can only imagine what the others feel like. especially your best friends. 

hopefully we’ll all be reunited on the 25th. 

long live Lisa

i finna mosquito an ah keelit

hookah makes me productive.. 

and gives me a headache when i try to learn tricks fml. never getting tangiers mint again.. lightheaded too fast. 

pms is so real rn

i just flipped out on a friend for canceling dinner

partially because i was trolling/raging on league because #anniejungleyolo but anyways everything was making me heated up ._. 

going to dinner tomorrow to make up for it though tg

i have ugly issues 

my acne UGH 

im pretty sure im going to lose weight soon cus fuck i walk to work (1mile) and im on my feet for like 4 hours at the job. 

maybe ill just get bad joints 

ive been drinking a smoothie+ eating a xs curry when i dont go out to eat for the whole day, so thats like 1000 cal 

but then the days that i DO go out to eat 

jesus someone stop the monster 

josh ily :) 

long phone call with my buddy… our heart to hearts are so good. 

ugh i want to be a good person

not like goody goody

but just someone that’s good.. like… there for you? 

someone who has their life straight- lives happily, thankfully, and excitedly? 

and i want to travel. a lot. 

i feel like theres just too much to see.. 

im probably going to major in something that lets me travel.. but i really dont know what x_x. 

someone called me ugly today… LOL i was kind of butt hurt but then i realized their opinion doesn’t matter. and hes immature so ill let it slide. 

but it did make me want to improve myself. like.. be not like him. he didn’t even know me and thought i would be a failure in life(it was a game but a mean one).. lol.. too bad my gpa is literally 2 higher, like 2—>4 basically, aaaaand i have a job, and im not being a public disturbance all of the time. so, it didn’t make me feel too bad because i know im not what he thinks i am, and he needs to grow up. 

eh but it still stings a little bit. 

im also a little bit scared that im wearing too much make up nowadays because my acne and scars are getting bad.. :/ 

i get them monthly, and they literally take a month to go away so its like.. a neverending cycle of bad skin. 

i also hate the fourth of july but today’s was fun. sara’s cousin from russia is awesome. she belly dances. im going to learn how to belly dance. its the coolest thing in the world. 

anyways i hate it because last year’s fourth of july brings some boohoo memories about the time i yoloed and shouldnt have yoloed


i want a boyfriend. but im not looking for one because i want a REALL one. ykno? someone that’s kind and genuine? idc about looks anymore honestly.. hot guys, sure.. but then theyre conceited and don’t invest in relationships because they can get a new one right away. 


i want to have a grip on my life but theres just SO MUCH GOING ON! 

i need a clean slate. start one thing at a time and add them on one by one. not happening though. i guess a part of life is learning how to deal. 

second day at work!

tiring but pretty fun tbh! :] 

being a waitress teaches you so much. 

new things i like to do might not be the most appealing to you